Warrior Wisdom: Finding Clarity, Purpose and Growth in the Unknown

By Cyrus Watkins

Navigating life as a college student can be difficult sometimes. Between academics, sports, social life, and work, it can be tricky finding a balance. On top of that, there comes this pressure to have your life figured out—when in reality, most of us don't. 

As I'm finishing up my last semester here at RCU, I've started to feel a bit of that "quarter-life crisis," and I realized I can't be the only one experiencing it. There's so much ahead of us, and that can feel both exciting and overwhelming. So, I thought to myself—why not go around and ask faculty and staff—people who have been in our shoes—for real, lived wisdom.

And that's how Warrior Wisdom was created—a series dedicated to learning from those with more experience, as they share lessons from their lives in hopes of guiding us as we step into this new chapter. The following is an in-depth overview of what I pulled from these insightful conversations.

Life Won’t Go According to Plan. That's OK.

We can have all the dreams and plans for how life is going to go, but it usually doesn't turn out the way we expect—and that's okay. As I spoke with my interviewees, I noticed a consistent pattern: each of them shared experiences where they had a clear goal in mind, yet things unfolded differently than they had envisioned. From not landing a job to facing unexpected health complications, life isn't always so clear-cut. Reflecting on what she would say to her younger college self, Dr. Pinchback shared, "Life is not going to go the way you think it will—but there's so much beauty and joy if you can learn to embrace the process."

Dr. Jerrica Pitzen

Often, we become so attached to things working out a certain way that we convince ourselves it's the only path to happiness or success. But this kind of tunnel vision can close us off to opportunities we never would have considered otherwise. It's good to have direction and ambition, but when we hold too tightly to one outcome, we risk missing the doors opening around us. Plans can fall apart, and that's not failure—it's redirection. After not getting into Yale despite believing it was the only successful path forward, Dr. Pitzen reflected, "Plan B is sometimes just as good—if not better." You might not get into the graduate program you want or land the job you expected, but those moments open doors you didn't know were there. There is often more opportunity in challenges than we realize.

And hardship, it turns out, is one of the most honest teachers we'll ever have “if you allow it,” notes Dr. Pleasant. Setbacks, in some form or at some level, are inevitable. After walking through his wife's life-threatening brain surgery, Dr. Pleasant reflected, "When things are going well, you don't learn much—but when things get hard, you have to reflect." At some point in life, things won't go the way you hoped, or unexpected events will disrupt the path

you thought you were on. In the moment, these experiences can feel overwhelming and distressing, making it hard to see the bigger picture. Moments like these weigh heavily on us, pulling us into deeper uncertainty and making it difficult to find purpose in the pain.

Dr. Rebekah Pinchback

However, as paradoxical as it may sound, with time and openness, we often begin to see that the moments that feel the worst can become moments of deep insight and growth—experiences that shape who we are becoming. Sometimes they reveal character flaws or attachments we didn’t realize we were holding onto—things that may have been quietly doing us more harm than good. Reflecting on being placed on academic probation her first year of college during a season of family struggles, Dr. Pinchback later realized that "it was important to go through that hardship to get where I'm at—it brought me here where I'm meant to be." As she also reminded me, "Growth does not happen overnight," so having grace with ourselves in the process is also important. Life will be challenging; it rarely unfolds exactly as we expect. Rather than running from hardship, learning to face it and grow through it can make all the difference in reaching our fullest potential. 

Whether you are going through a breakup, struggling with your mental health, or facing setbacks of any kind, try to look for what the experience might be showing you. Reframing your relationship with struggle is vital for growth. Instead of asking, Why is this happening to me? Consider asking, What is this teaching me? It's easier said than done, but you do have the ability to influence how you interpret the events in your life—and that choice can change everything.

Let go & be present

Once we begin to accept that hardship is part of the journey, the next shift is learning to stop fighting what we can't control. We can't necessarily control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. There's often a strong desire to have control over everything in our lives—our careers, our relationships, our future, and sometimes even our past—but this pursuit of control usually creates more tension than clarity. As Dr. Pleasant reflected, "You're going to be a lot happier in life if you just accept the fact that there are things outside of your control, and you just work on the things that you can control." When things don't go the way we want, it's easy to become frustrated and reactive. Learning to let go of what we can't control can be incredibly freeing, as it rids us of expectations and allows greater flexibility. 

Dr. David Brackney

At the end of the day, the only things we can control are our mindset, our effort, and our actions. Trying to control anything beyond that usually leads to unnecessary stress and disappointment. Let go of the idea that life has to go a certain way for you to feel content. Reflecting on the tendency to get caught up in future concerns, Dr. Brackney encouraged, "Do what you're called to do today and watch for doors to open." When you find yourself worrying about the future or stressing over outcomes, take a step back and ask yourself: Did I control what I could control to the best of my ability? If the answer is yes, then whatever happens next is no longer yours to carry.

That kind of presence—showing up fully for the moment in front of you—is something that doesn't come naturally in today's world, but it might be the most important practice we can develop. As Dr. Pleasant puts it, "The present moment is the only moment we have." The past is already written, and the future has not yet arrived; focusing on either one only takes us away from the now. With digital technology always at our fingertips, we are supposedly more connected than ever before, yet in many ways, we feel more disconnected. It's hard to be present when we are constantly plugged in and stimulated. There are endless ways to distract ourselves, making it harder and harder to sit with what's going on inside us.

Avoiding that inner work only creates more tension over time—tension that eventually shows up outwardly in our lives. Our generation, and those younger than us, are increasingly immersed in the online world, and alongside that, we are seeing rising levels of anxiety and depression. Finding ways to unplug, even briefly, can make a real difference for our well-being. Reflecting on the increasingly distracted pace of modern life and the growing mental health challenges she has observed in younger generations, Dr. Pinchback shared, "We need space to think, breathe, and reflect. That's where you heal. That's where creativity comes from." Mindfulness practices may not feel as exciting as scrolling through TikTok or playing video games, but they create the stillness we often don't realize we need. 

Dr. Klint Pleasant

Learning to be present doesn't just benefit you; it also changes the way you show up for others. As Dr. Pleasant put it, "If we're not present—we're  robbing ourselves of every moment." So many everyday conversations aren't fully heard. We've all experienced what it feels like to talk to someone who isn't really listening. Presence requires intention. As Dr. Pleasant encourages, "Give someone your undivided attention—that's how people feel loved." Our attention is one of the most valuable things we have, and we develop it through discipline and mindful action. Practices like conscious breathing, meditating, journaling, praying, walking in nature, playing sports, or simply sitting in silence help strengthen our ability to be present—something that is within our control. It's difficult to understand what you truly want when your attention is always elsewhere.

Purpose Isn’t What You Think It Is

It's often in stillness that purpose begins to take shape. Purpose isn't something we suddenly arrive at—it develops through noticing. As Dr. Pinchback shared, "Callings come in seasons," and Dr. Pitzen reminded me that "your purpose shifts over time." We're not expected to have everything mapped out right away—and that's okay. To begin discovering our purpose, we first have to take a step back and reflect. "We have to ask the deeper whys in our lives," urges Dr. Pleasant. We have to notice what tugs at us and recognize the unique gifts we each carry—because as Dr. Pinchback shares, "purpose is found in what compels your heart." That kind of clarity only comes when we create space to be present and look within ourselves.

Dr. Keith Huey

Purpose is often more about what's in front of you today than what your entire life will look like years from now. As Mr. Link put it, "your purpose is not for your whole life—but for the moment." In a similar spirit, Dr. Huey asks, "What can you do right now that makes the world better?" Often, the answer is simple—"do the next good thing," he adds. Even the smallest actions carry weight, and they matter more than we often realize. You don't need to have the full picture right now. So don't be too hard on yourself. Give yourself permission to explore, to notice opportunities as they arise, and to step outside your comfort zone. Purpose tends to grow as you do.

It's also worth mentioning something that quietly gets in the way of all of this: the pressure to perform, to measure up, to be seen as successful. Society often tells us that our value is determined by what we achieve, but grades, popularity, and success do not define who we are. It's easy to fall into the trap of equating our worth with external measures, yet these things are always temporary. Reflecting on what truly matters in the long run, Dr. Pleasant shared, "When I'm on my deathbed, I'm gonna think about those I loved more than when we won a basketball game… so don't build your identity on things that won't matter in the end." It's okay to want certain things in life and work hard toward them, but the moment we tie our identity and self-worth to them, we set ourselves up for discontent. 

With the influence of social media and the growing comparison culture, it's harder than ever not to measure ourselves against others. Instead of appreciating what's right in front of us, we can start to feel like there is always someone doing more or doing better. As Dr. Huey observed, "You see the very best—and take no joy in your own progress." But you don't have to achieve something grand to feel worthy or whole. Don't feel pressured to succeed by societal standards. Lasting joy isn't found in those expectations. As Dr. Brackney encourages, "Be faithful in what you have today." In the end, who you are matters far more than what you achieve. Take time to appreciate the little things and the impact you can have in your own community. Take a moment to express gratitude to those you love. When everything else fades, what remains most meaningful are the relationships we built and how we cared for those around us and the world. 

Find Your People & Make the Most of Where You Are

That brings us to one of the most grounding truths that came out of these conversations: we are not meant to do any of this alone. We are social beings, and life becomes so much more meaningful when we share it with others. All around us are people, yet it's easy to get caught up in our own goals and concerns and forget that others are going through similar struggles and desires. Opening up to one another can be incredibly valuable and enriching. As Dr. Pitzen put it, "Connection helps you step out of your head." We don't have to go through life alone. While it can sometimes feel difficult to find people who truly care and show up for you, you don't need a large circle—just a few close friends who are consistent and can hold you accountable.

Alex Link

It can be tempting to shape yourself into someone you're not just to fit in, but learning to embrace your quirks and what makes you uniquely you are far more empowering. You might not attract everyone that way, but you will attract the people who genuinely value you for who you are. As Mr. Link put it, "Find your weird people." Having those kinds of relationships can be grounding and uplifting, especially during times of hardship. Reflecting on the importance of being surrounded by people who truly see him, he added, "There are people who value me—and that keeps me going." 

In relationships and personal growth, vulnerability plays a vital role. Being honest about where you are and what you're going through builds trust and often reveals parts of yourself you didn't even know were there. As Dr. Pinchback encouraged, "Have enough courage to say, 'I'm not okay.'" When that kind of honesty is present—and relationships aren't transactional—"walls come down," as Dr. Huey puts it. Having the right people in your life—those who show up when you need them most—helps you move through life more grounded and supported. A mentor-like figure or someone who can guide you along the way can also make a lasting impact. 

Community sustains us but sometimes finding them takes courage. Most people aren't looking to be cruel or dismissive, but someone has to take the first step toward connection. While meaningful relationships can develop naturally over time, they often begin when you're willing to put yourself out there. Try introducing yourself to someone new. Stay grounded in your immediate environment and take notice of the people around you—you may find that the community you're looking for is closer than you think.

And the best time to do all of this? Right now, while you're still here, in university. We have an extraordinary opportunity right now—one that's easy to take for granted if we're not mindful. This season of life gives us a rare chance to learn, explore, and better understand who we are becoming. We're not supposed to have everything figured out, even though it can sometimes feel like that's the expectation. Reflecting on his early cooking experiments that occasionally triggered the Barbier Hall fire alarms, Mr. Link encourages us to "Take risks now—it's safer here than later." As life moves forward, responsibilities tend to increase, and the freedom to test ourselves often becomes more limited.

College isn’t just about preparing for a career; it’s about discovering more about the world, who you are, and what you can contribute to it. Looking back on her time in college, Dr. Pitzen shared that she wished she had taken more opportunities beyond academics, explaining, "Taking on different opportunities helps you figure out who you are." Look beyond just your major. Taking initiative and seeking out new experiences can go a long way toward shaping your character. You learn more about yourself by trying than by waiting and wondering.

Dr. Huey, a strong advocate for travel whenever possible, reflected that "meeting people from different backgrounds and traveling opens up your perspective tremendously." He shared that encountering people from different faith backgrounds challenged his own beliefs in constructive ways and ultimately helped deepen his faith. Experiences like these remind us that growth often comes from stepping outside our comfort zones. As Dr. Pinchback encourages, "Don't take yourself so seriously—You don't need to be perfect—the goal isn't perfection—it's excellence." 

Make the most of your time here. Take chances, create memories, explore new disciplines, embrace diversity, work hard, and invest in meaningful relationships. Pay attention to what excites you, what challenges you, and what keeps you curious—and then, as Dr. Pleasant puts it, "discover what your unique gift is and then give it away to the world." This is our time to explore, and that opportunity is something truly worth making the most of.

Warrior Mindset

Cyrus Watkins

I started this project unsure of what I would find. While I don’t have everything figured out, I feel more grounded knowing that uncertainty is something everyone experiences — even those we look up to. You see, we can't be perfect; we are all works in progress, but it's through our shared experiences and vulnerability with one another that transformation and growth can take place.

Plans won't always unfold the way we want; challenges can be our greatest teachers; and much of what we worry about is outside our control. Purpose isn't something we suddenly arrive at—it reveals itself slowly, often in small moments and through the people around us. What matters most is our presence, our willingness to grow and explore, and how we care for those around us. 

Maybe the goal isn't to have all the answers, but simply to remain open to who we are becoming. So take a deep breath—and ask yourself: what's pulling at my heart right now?